Sometimes.
Fast, hard footsteps pounded the concrete that was heavy with rain. Puddles lurked everywhere, with a misty fog in the distance that clouded the eyes of the group. Farther back, marching could be heard, only faintly. Glowing yellow eyes loomed through the clouds, and sounds of thunder were angrily striking the gloomy sky above. The footsteps becoming lighter and breaths of air coming out, had the pelts of legs stopping and several eyes looking back to see how far the lights were.
"We can't outrun them!" Shouted a feminine voice that was much too loud for every ones liking.
"She's right, we have to split up, if we don't. we will all be screwed." A stern voice said with complete dominance.
"Okay, we split into groups of two. Tobie, Annie, you go left. Ryan, Sam, you head right. D-wayne and I will head straight and be decoys for them to follow. Do not look back, do not stop. We agree to meet up at base." This voice came from Aaron a deadly boy who knew too much about explosives and weapons.
"Alright, what if we get there first?" Sam asked, her hand seeking out desperately to get ahold of Ryan.
"Then we grab the weapons and we wait. If someone doesn't return, we wait 30 minutes, and then we search." Dwayne spoke, looking around the heads on Tobie and Annie. "We got to go."
"But D-wayne! We can't wait for them, we have to get out of this town." Annie said with a frown on her soft cheeks.
"Listen, we don't leave anyone behind." He said harshly. "Do you understand?"
Her blue eyes searched the mans hard features. "Fine."
"Do. You. Understand?" He repeated with more force.
"I understand." Now her hand, grabbed Tobies tightly. "Come on."
Several weeks earlier Sam and Tobie were walking toward their law enforcement class, with a girl that had blue hair and wide green eyes. She had a disgusted look on her face, as always and she was grunting with hate. "You need to shut your ******' mouth, before I shut it for you, Sam." The girl turned to give a glare at the dark redhead with big brown eyes.
"I didn't call you a slut, damn! You are always such a *****, and you think everyone is making fun of you in some way, or that they are calling you names. If you weren't so insecure, Ginger, then you wouldn't have a ******' problem." Sam announced to her, arms flailing in the air.
Tobie, a boy with dirty blonde hair, watched with amusement littering his green eyes. "You two are ridiculous." He muttered with a chuckle. He usually added to the fights to make them more fun, but in honesty he was really tired of the fighting.
Both girls crossed their arms and waited for him to open the lightly brown door of the classroom, walking in they found the slightly balding teacher with gray hair and a moustache to match it. His glasses were falling down his face, and he was clumsily holding and dropping papers. "Tobie, Ginger, Sam! Welcome, it's nice to see you all today, how was your weekend?" He asked cheerfully, patting each on the head and ruffling Tobies hair, though it was kind of hard with the gray hat perched upon his head.
Tobie lifted his brow with a confused smile. "Mr. Hudson, are you okay? You're really chipper today."
Sam looked at Tobie, stupidly. "Chipper, really? You couldn't think of anything better?"
"Oh Tobie, ya little scamp." Mr. Hudson said with a bright grin. "I'm feeling absolutely fantastic." He then reached out and pinched Tobies cheek. "I really like that hat? Is it new? It looks great on you."
Ginger then looked at him, shook her head and walked away. Her shirt was lifting slightly in the back and another teacher that stood by his desk, who was pudgy glanced at it. "Ginger, that's a nice tattoo, though it looks like a tramp stamp."
With this, Tobie and Sam broke out into giggles. Gingers face contourted and she flipped him off, stomping to her seat. "I guess I should take my hat off now." Tobie said going to lift his hat.
"Oh no, you keep it on, ya little soldier." He said fixing it on his head. "You're supposed to have fun here, not get told what to do." He walked away, tripping on his own two feet and he laughed.
Tobie and Sam glanced at eachother with dropping jaws. "That was ******' weird." They said at the same time with eyes big.
This is the short version so far that Tobie and I are writing together. I'd like some constructive critisism, and please keep the comments positive. It isn't done and it's completely rough. Thank you.
Answer
Well....This is okay, but you have a lot of word choice issues:
How can concrete be "heavy with rain?" Try "wet with rain."
"Misty fog" is redundant. Either it's mist or it's fog.
"Farther back, marching could be heard, only faintly." That sounds awkward. Try "Farther back, faint marching could be heard."
"Glowing yellow eyes loomed through the clouds, and sounds of thunder were angrily striking the gloomy sky above." I'm sorry, I don't understand what's going on in this sentence. Are the clouds clouds of fog or clouds in the sky? Are the eyes real eyes? You don't want to confuse your reader.
"The footsteps becoming lighter and breaths of air coming out, had the pelts of legs stopping and several eyes looking back to see how far the lights were." Try saying the footsteps BECAME lighter. "Had the pelts of legs." What are pelts of legs? Think about what you're trying to say.
"We can't outrun them!" Shouted a feminine voice that was much to loud for everyone's liking. Shouted shouldn't be capitalized there. Is the voice feminine or female? There's a difference.
"She's right, we have to split up, if we don't. we will all be screwed." A stern voice said with complete dominance. Try this: "She's right. We have to split up! If we don't, we will all be screwed," a stern voice said with complete dominance." See how it flows better?
"This voice came from Aaron a deadly boy who knew too much about explosives and weapons." You need commas in here: "This voice came from Aaron, a deadly boy who knew too much about explosives and weapons." Actually, it's just one comma, but do you see how the sentence is easier, less rambling?
"Now her hand, grabbed Tobies tightly." Try: "Now her hand grabbed Tobie's tightly" or "She grabbed Tobie's hand and held it tightly in her own."
Please don't think I'm mean. Consider this constructive criticism. I hope it helped. Good luck with your story! :)
Well....This is okay, but you have a lot of word choice issues:
How can concrete be "heavy with rain?" Try "wet with rain."
"Misty fog" is redundant. Either it's mist or it's fog.
"Farther back, marching could be heard, only faintly." That sounds awkward. Try "Farther back, faint marching could be heard."
"Glowing yellow eyes loomed through the clouds, and sounds of thunder were angrily striking the gloomy sky above." I'm sorry, I don't understand what's going on in this sentence. Are the clouds clouds of fog or clouds in the sky? Are the eyes real eyes? You don't want to confuse your reader.
"The footsteps becoming lighter and breaths of air coming out, had the pelts of legs stopping and several eyes looking back to see how far the lights were." Try saying the footsteps BECAME lighter. "Had the pelts of legs." What are pelts of legs? Think about what you're trying to say.
"We can't outrun them!" Shouted a feminine voice that was much to loud for everyone's liking. Shouted shouldn't be capitalized there. Is the voice feminine or female? There's a difference.
"She's right, we have to split up, if we don't. we will all be screwed." A stern voice said with complete dominance. Try this: "She's right. We have to split up! If we don't, we will all be screwed," a stern voice said with complete dominance." See how it flows better?
"This voice came from Aaron a deadly boy who knew too much about explosives and weapons." You need commas in here: "This voice came from Aaron, a deadly boy who knew too much about explosives and weapons." Actually, it's just one comma, but do you see how the sentence is easier, less rambling?
"Now her hand, grabbed Tobies tightly." Try: "Now her hand grabbed Tobie's tightly" or "She grabbed Tobie's hand and held it tightly in her own."
Please don't think I'm mean. Consider this constructive criticism. I hope it helped. Good luck with your story! :)
please help i need some new outfits can yall help me out?
Joe W
can yall please make me some outfits i desperately need a new wardrobe here is some info on what i need
need outfits for the gym, school, and going shopping and work
( I work at a Tattoo Parlor)
1. male
2. age 16
3. height 6-0
4. Body Muscular
5. Eyes Blue
6. Hair Brown-Highlighted
Stores I like
1. oldnavy
2. Kohls
3. Spencers
4. Hot Topic
5. Target
6. Pacfic Sunwear
7. Hollister
8. Ron Jon Surf Shop
Rules I Like tanks and sleeveless shirts I would also like to have a necklace and a Anklet <- Must be Beachy/ skater/ emo I also like wearing shoes w/o socks ( Please No Flip Flops Crocs or Berkinstocks) I also Like tattoos and Piercings Maybe a nice tribal dragon tattoo or Japanese Tattoo I like Beachy type summer wear I also have my ears pierced and navel pierced too so a nice piece of jewelry would be awesome for the piercings
Answer
hey! how are you? I was surfing around when I found your q and it sounds like you have much the same style as me, but you are a guy.
first off, some other places/brands you might want to look at are:
-hurley
-West 49 (they do have some nice shoes)
-blue-notes
-footlocker
Shirts-tops:
-t's are always good, no pink! unless you can find a really nice one...
-black and or white muscle tops that show off your arms, make sure they aren't too thin... separate your work out ones, dress ones, work ones ans everyday ones...
-sweaters are critical! zip up hood with cool patterns.green (with your eyes, it will look gorgeous, but pick the right shades!) blue, red, brown and black are some ideas...
bottoms:
-BOARD SHORTS! they are great with the right T and hood, and believe me, the girl(S) will be drooling all over you!!!
-jeans they must be the right type!!! DO NOT WEAR SKINNY'S! DO NOT HAVE YOUR PANTS HANGING OFF YOUR ASS DOWN TO YOUR KNEES! those are two rules guys really need to learn. some find it attractive, others find it annoying. lets just say most chicks are down with #2. the colour and wash matter,for surf, i would suggest a light wash, in blue. if you like it, maybe a few holes...not my fave but it might be yours. a wide leg, and they should be the right length, if you need to- have them hemmed. make sure they dont drag. if you like a slightly ripped bottom, take a serrated knife and GENTLY scrape accross bottom in HORIZONTAL lignes(------ not | or /).
shoes:
you say you dont like flip flops...but if you DO find a pair you like, they look good w/ the shorts and sometimes jeans... if your gay- sorry!dont get offended, but if not- make sure they arent pink or bright or...dont wear them with socks. please.
-deck shoes are always a favorite, and go great with jeans and shorts, and other things too. a white pair and a black pair are essential. make sure you dont get to gangsta on us...get good quality ones too. adidas are nice, same with dc's. if they are suede or leather, make sure you spray/coat them regularly, once the dirt gets in- it doesnt come out/off. there are products that renew colour. ex if black sued ones are turning gray- lightening at toes, there is a product that is like paint-for your shoes...i dont know it, but i have had a bud do it for me. get help if you need too.
-runners...they can make or ruin an outfit. make sure they are properly fitted, and only wear them with the right outfits. they are great for the gym, make sure they compliment your shape.
accesories.
-hats. they can make or break an outfit choose wisely. dont buy anything too flashy!you dont want to look like a gangsta wanna-be. tooks are great. wear them on your runs in the morn, or when it's cold.
- rings: it depends if you like them or not. nothing to flashy, but if you do wear rings, keep them in a safe place when you go to wash the dishes/work out. if there is a chance you are going to loose them, leave them at home.
-necklaces: OMG i love you! a surf style lover, who actualy agknowledges the necklaces and anklets. i make mine, and i am curently wearing 4. hemp style/braided is pretty cool. gives off the surffer vibe... a few wooden beads laced throughout looks good. it should hug your neck, but not choke it... a loose choker... you can make your own. buy some yarn-thread or whatever you like... and get 3 pieces. mesure your neck, how long? say 20 cm. times it by 1 and a half- 2. so...30-40 cm each in length.take the ends and male a knot.then start braiding. to add a beadstick the middle piece throught the hole, and the other two around it...then, keep braiding. when it reaches the desired length (a bit longer than your neck...) make another knot and cut. then tie it around your neck with a double knot. when it falls off, you get a wish...but if it falls of after the first little while, it doesnt count. make sure you wash it when it's on your neck.
-anklets: same goes, make them match/similar in some way... when you put on your shoes/socks, makesure you wear ankle socks and it is out of the sock.
-earings: depends where it is. the top? then rings or bars are best. a ring with one ball in the middle always looks great. as for the bottom, dont go for blinging diamonds. a small stud is always hot.
-belts. wear one when needed. make sure it goes with the outfit. nothing to bright earth shades like in camo patterns. but the belt should not be camo patterned.
work:
you work at a tatto place, but have no tattoo???good. its really up to you, but remember, they are expensive, painfull and permanent. getting it removed is very $$$! henna tattos are great for that type off thing. make sure it's well done and kept up to date. see how you like it. you say you are muscular, right? then get one around your bicep.barbed wire or something...always hot. i kinda want one...
-black is always formal, and goess with all. EXEPT NAVY BLUE, unless we are talking jeans...thats a diffrent story...
-tops: something t
hey! how are you? I was surfing around when I found your q and it sounds like you have much the same style as me, but you are a guy.
first off, some other places/brands you might want to look at are:
-hurley
-West 49 (they do have some nice shoes)
-blue-notes
-footlocker
Shirts-tops:
-t's are always good, no pink! unless you can find a really nice one...
-black and or white muscle tops that show off your arms, make sure they aren't too thin... separate your work out ones, dress ones, work ones ans everyday ones...
-sweaters are critical! zip up hood with cool patterns.green (with your eyes, it will look gorgeous, but pick the right shades!) blue, red, brown and black are some ideas...
bottoms:
-BOARD SHORTS! they are great with the right T and hood, and believe me, the girl(S) will be drooling all over you!!!
-jeans they must be the right type!!! DO NOT WEAR SKINNY'S! DO NOT HAVE YOUR PANTS HANGING OFF YOUR ASS DOWN TO YOUR KNEES! those are two rules guys really need to learn. some find it attractive, others find it annoying. lets just say most chicks are down with #2. the colour and wash matter,for surf, i would suggest a light wash, in blue. if you like it, maybe a few holes...not my fave but it might be yours. a wide leg, and they should be the right length, if you need to- have them hemmed. make sure they dont drag. if you like a slightly ripped bottom, take a serrated knife and GENTLY scrape accross bottom in HORIZONTAL lignes(------ not | or /).
shoes:
you say you dont like flip flops...but if you DO find a pair you like, they look good w/ the shorts and sometimes jeans... if your gay- sorry!dont get offended, but if not- make sure they arent pink or bright or...dont wear them with socks. please.
-deck shoes are always a favorite, and go great with jeans and shorts, and other things too. a white pair and a black pair are essential. make sure you dont get to gangsta on us...get good quality ones too. adidas are nice, same with dc's. if they are suede or leather, make sure you spray/coat them regularly, once the dirt gets in- it doesnt come out/off. there are products that renew colour. ex if black sued ones are turning gray- lightening at toes, there is a product that is like paint-for your shoes...i dont know it, but i have had a bud do it for me. get help if you need too.
-runners...they can make or ruin an outfit. make sure they are properly fitted, and only wear them with the right outfits. they are great for the gym, make sure they compliment your shape.
accesories.
-hats. they can make or break an outfit choose wisely. dont buy anything too flashy!you dont want to look like a gangsta wanna-be. tooks are great. wear them on your runs in the morn, or when it's cold.
- rings: it depends if you like them or not. nothing to flashy, but if you do wear rings, keep them in a safe place when you go to wash the dishes/work out. if there is a chance you are going to loose them, leave them at home.
-necklaces: OMG i love you! a surf style lover, who actualy agknowledges the necklaces and anklets. i make mine, and i am curently wearing 4. hemp style/braided is pretty cool. gives off the surffer vibe... a few wooden beads laced throughout looks good. it should hug your neck, but not choke it... a loose choker... you can make your own. buy some yarn-thread or whatever you like... and get 3 pieces. mesure your neck, how long? say 20 cm. times it by 1 and a half- 2. so...30-40 cm each in length.take the ends and male a knot.then start braiding. to add a beadstick the middle piece throught the hole, and the other two around it...then, keep braiding. when it reaches the desired length (a bit longer than your neck...) make another knot and cut. then tie it around your neck with a double knot. when it falls off, you get a wish...but if it falls of after the first little while, it doesnt count. make sure you wash it when it's on your neck.
-anklets: same goes, make them match/similar in some way... when you put on your shoes/socks, makesure you wear ankle socks and it is out of the sock.
-earings: depends where it is. the top? then rings or bars are best. a ring with one ball in the middle always looks great. as for the bottom, dont go for blinging diamonds. a small stud is always hot.
-belts. wear one when needed. make sure it goes with the outfit. nothing to bright earth shades like in camo patterns. but the belt should not be camo patterned.
work:
you work at a tatto place, but have no tattoo???good. its really up to you, but remember, they are expensive, painfull and permanent. getting it removed is very $$$! henna tattos are great for that type off thing. make sure it's well done and kept up to date. see how you like it. you say you are muscular, right? then get one around your bicep.barbed wire or something...always hot. i kinda want one...
-black is always formal, and goess with all. EXEPT NAVY BLUE, unless we are talking jeans...thats a diffrent story...
-tops: something t
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